it is 8:25 pm on sunday, july 19th. the sun is finally gone but my LA apartment is still holding all the heat from the day. the sunday scaries are hitting me so hard my chest actually hurts. and i’m sitting here staring at this blog trying to figure out how to format this post around this completely broken “price slider” theme. who even designed this UI? every time you drag the little dot to filter prices, the whole page stutters and jumps.
i just happened to look at my user bio on the sidebar. “sports lover who loves life.” what a complete joke. i manually typed that lie myself back in june. i was so full of naive energy back then. i was spending hours meticulously crafting alt-text for montreal canadiens hoodies and boston celtics gear on pinterest. i legitimately thought i was building a real digital marketing career for myself.
now i just feel like a human spell-checker for a hallucinating database.
tonight the master spreadsheet wants me to push a ugo amadi jersey. he plays for the new orleans saints. but if you look at the URL the automated scraper gave me, the domain is cowboysplayershop. a saints player on a dallas cowboys domain. the backend is just cross-breeding random nfl teams and throwing ghost data into the void. nothing means anything on the internet anymore.
and before i log off and get a psychotic slack message from my manager tomorrow morning—because last week he completely lost his mind and yelled that “you forgot to write the image folder name for me” in the layout—here it is. images/nfl/saints/amadi_price_slider/. the directory path is literally right there in the text. please stop micromanaging my existence.
i am so exhausted by screens. the other day i couldn’t take the silence of the spreadsheets anymore so i tried to talk to an ai just to have a conversation. i gave it a simple game riddle. “Hint: s2”. and the thing confidently spit out complete, unhinged garbage. i actually had to sit here sweating in the dark and manually type out “your answer just now was incorrect” to a machine.
all i want to do right now is tap a basic land for black mana, pull all the loyalty counters off a planeswalker, and ultimately myself into a completely different dimension where mondays don’t exist.
the fabric on these modern football jerseys is completely unbreathable anyway. it’s thick synthetic plastic.
i’m going to go lie on the kitchen floor and wait for tomorrow.
